photo“You have a new…..(we paused for effect) SISTER!” We announced the news to our five children on speakerphone, who were waiting all day to hear whether the boys would outnumber the girls, or we would be evened out. Their end of the line erupted in yelling, whooping and just plain exuberance as they rejoiced at the knowledge of a new girl being added to our family. It was a fun moment I will remember forever!

One of our children, however, was not happy with the news, and, as we found out later, in the same moment everyone else was responding with joy, he was running into another room, away from the excitement, to be upset that he didn’t ‘get what he wanted’. You see, while the rest of us were hoping for a girl, he wanted a boy.

So often I am just like him! “God, why are you giving me this?” “Didn’t you hear me; I asked you to do it this way, and you chose another way instead!?” “Surely I know what would be best for me here, and you’re not giving it to me!”  Can you relate to any of these questions?

A verse we are discussing a lot in our home right now is Philippians 2:14, “Do all things without grumbling or questioning.”  When one of the children begins to grumble or question, we will remind them that God doesn’t allow an exception here. We might ask the children, “Does it say, ‘Do all things, unless it tastes yucky or is hard to do, without grumbling or questioning’?”The answer is, “No, do ALL things!” I want to make it very clear here that this instruction cannot be brought by itself, but must be clearly accompanied by the gospel, or it becomes self-centered and moralistic.  How can we do ALL things without grumbling or questioning?  True, in our fallen state as sinners, we cannot obey this fully, but we can look to Jesus, who did do it perfectly.  In Luke 22:42, Jesus, aware of what He was being called to do, prayed to His Father, “saying, ‘Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.’ ”  Jesus’ humble submission to His Father, and subsequent sacrifice for us, His enemies, can affect our hearts and encourage our obedience!

A few days ago, I asked our son if he loved his sister and was glad now that we have another girl.  His response, although needing to be addressed in its own way, made me laugh, as he said, “Well, Mama, you see, I like girls when they’re babies, it’s when they get older that I don’t like them anymore!”  Kurt and I will have to remind him of that one in a few years!!!

I often get asked what parenting resources  I recommend.  There are so many good books and many not-so-good books out there on parenting. So,  I thought I would recomment 2 books that are in the “must have” category when it comes to parenting.  If you don’t have these I highly recommend you get them and READ them. I have and contine to benefit from each of these books.

1. Gospel-Powered Parenting, by William Farley (click here to read a full review)

gospelpoweredparenting-farley

2. Get Outta My Face!, by Rick Horne (click here to read a full review)

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I think he gets his singing ability (if not his fashion sense) from me, especially on those high notes…

Jared & Rebekah

Just a few weeks ago two of our beloved young adults embarked into engagement and have plans set in motion to marry in January.  Jared Randolph & Rebekah Wilhelm are committed to Jesus and the church, and here is their story, in the words of Rebekah:

Our story has been full of surprises. Jared and I both grew up at CrossWay and interacted on numerous occasions—enough that we had developed a lot of mutual respect, and knew that we’d enjoy deepening our friendship. But we weren’t “interested” in each other until our junior year of college. During the spring semester of 2008, Jared was studying abroad in Germany, and for some reason found himself thinking about this girl a continent away. That was surprise number one. We hadn’t even been communicating while he was in Germany, so his interest in me was a bit of a mystery!

He managed to keep it under his hat until the fall semester of 2008, the beginning of our senior year. After taking a few months to evaluate his heart and talk to several other people, Jared approached my dad about starting a relationship with me. That was January 2009, and it was definitely surprise number two—at least for me. I had been ten hours away in Michigan, totally immersed in my college life, and hadn’t even though about courting someone back home. However, though Jared’s interest in me seemed out of the blue, it was also an answer to prayer: I’d been asking God to lead me into marriage for about a year and was excited to see where this relationship could lead.

Jared and I wrote a lot of “snail mail” letters that semester, plus phone calls and emails. By the time I graduated and came home to Lancaster, we were feeling pretty good about the courtship and figured that we would be ready to get engaged by the end of July. Everything seemed to be lining up on paper, so what could possibly throw a wrench into our plans? Well, surprise number three came when things went more slowly than we had expected. We discovered that we couldn’t force a friendship, or our emotions, or our financial situation. Instead, we had to wait on God and on each other for the relationship to develop. We certainly grew a lot in patience and contentment through that experience!

In the fall, though, we had definitely reached a point of decision, and the final surprise came on the afternoon of October 2. I was babysitting Mya and Abby Randolph (my future nieces, as it turns out) when Jared suddenly showed up with a replacement babysitter. He kidnapped me to Longwood Gardens, where he asked me to marry him—and obviously, I said yes. We’re getting married on January 2, less than one year after Jared first asked me to date him. Thinking about it now, I am amazed that God has taken us from singleness to marriage so quickly. His plans have definitely surprised us, over and over again! But in the end, those unexpected events have been evidences of God’s providential care for us. We are so grateful for how He has brought us together, and are overjoyed to share our happiness with you, our church family.

Jared & Rebekah’s example is striking.  I pray that many others who come after them will be influenced by their faith, purity and humble commitment to counsel.  Blessings on them both!

Desiring-GodfreeThanks to John Oliver for mentioning to me that this month you can download the audio version of John Pipers Desiring God. We can thank the folks at Christian Audio for their generosity.

mop_bucketThe Plank family has been sick the past couple of weeks with the flu.  NO FUN!  (Sick toddlers are not the easiest of patients.)  With having a fever myself for three days and nights, I could literally only feed the children and get them in and out of bed.  My wonderful husband stayed home to help me when I could not function.  He cared for the children, fed them, and kept the laundry going.  I was so grateful for his help and his willingness to take off work for me.  I really don’t know what I would have done without him. 

As these most important things were being taken care of, I must admit that I had thoughts of less important things getting done as well.  Take for instance, cleaning the bathrooms.  After many days of sick people being in and out of the bathrooms, they began to look pretty grim.  The kitchen floor was sticky with things unrecognizable.  The laundry was clean, but not folded or put away.  The children’s beds were totally disheveled and made the rooms have a distinct odor.  My skin was crawling as I surveyed from the couch the house getting dirtier by the day.  Alas, these things would have to wait.

The past two days, I have felt much better and the children seem to be on the mend as well.  I dreamed for the previous three days of finally mopping the kitchen floor.  Today was the day!  I was so happy to have a few minutes to tackle this task.  When it was complete, I stood in the doorway and took a deep breath to experience its beauty and lemon-freshness.  Ahhhh.  Then it hit me . . . why was I so happy?  I am not usually jumping at the chance to mop my kitchen floor.  In fact, when I am in the daily grind of life these tasks can become a place of complaining for me.  Just like when I was sick with pregnancies, being removed from my daily tasks creates a new excitement that should be there all the time.  After 16 weeks of pregnancy sickness, I can’t wait to get back into my kitchen and serve my family delicious (at least edible) meals!  In my moments of sickness, God is faithful to help me see where I lack gratefulness and joy.  Thank you Father! Grace me to serve with joy and gladness all my days.

weaverfamilyEven writing the title of this post gives me a serious pause.  It seems like a difficult task to complete, I hear the doubts rush into my mind, ”How do I parent with the gospel, I mean, how does it look practically?”

This past Monday night we brough our 6th child home from the hospital.  It was a wonderful moment, full of joy and happiness.  However, along with this blessing comes the responsibility to train this little one in the gospel of Christ.

I’ve been reading a book called Gospel-Powered Parenting by William Farley.  It’s an outstanding book reminding us to keep the gospel in the center of all we do in our parenting. May the following quotes encourage us all in the task of parenting…

Farley writes in the beginning of his book, “…the most effective parents have a clear grasp of the cross and its implications for daily life.  The implications are manifold.  They include the fear of God, a marriage that preaches the gospel to its children, deeply ingrained humility, gratitude, joy, firmness coupled with affection and consistent teaching modeled by parents daily.”

And he closes with this statement, “Here is the problem; You and I do not measure up.  Does this mean that we should give up and not try?  No, the gospel frees us to fail and continually reapply ourselves to an impossible standard. Why? God knows we cannot be perfect. His Son paid the price for our imperfections…So the gospel not only teaches us how to parent, The gospel salves the wounds of our imperfections, and it encourages us to persevere through our failures.”

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